politicallyincorrectwalrus:

i love the term “partners”
are we dating?
are we robbing a bank?
do we run a legal firm?
are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit?
who knows.

(via thedailylaughs)

  • I'm in my father's class at my high school. He said this today:
  • Him: As some of you may not know, I'm a feminist.
  • class: *laughs*
  • Him: No, really, I am.
  • Class: *laughs again*
  • Him: Why is that funny?
  • Asshole: Because you're a man, and you shouldn't think that way.
  • Him: Well why not?
  • Asshole: I dunno that's just the way that is.
  • Him: I'm a feminist because of my wife. She and I have the EXACT same job. Yet, I make more than her.
  • Class: *laughs*
  • Him: Why is that funny? Shouldn't women be paid equally as men?
  • Same Asshole: No, they're supposed to be in the kitchen.
  • Him: *slams fist on asshole's desk* Why?
  • Asshole: Because that's how it is.
  • Him: Why?
  • Asshole: That's their job.
  • Him: Why?
  • Asshole: *can't come up with another answer*
  • Him: I'm a feminist because my wife has the exact same job, gets less pay, and with that, I can barely support my three children. If she got paid as much as me, life would be a bit easier for all of us.
  • *note, my mother is a teacher like my father*
  • Him: Women gave birth to us, and now, here in the state of Michigan, they can't even have their own rights? It's 2014 people! Grow up or get out of my class.
  • Class: *silence*
  • Him: Now.. Louis XVI

rizelita:

karkat-barakat:

So yesterday I got bored so I made a Facebook account for an egg

And I friended a bunch of my friends and some strangers and posted some really dumb Facebook updates

And people started messaging me so I responded

And one person proposed to me

And then she blocked me so I made a status about it

Holy shell I need a life

This egg has a better social life than me

raypuaza:

can i stay at your place? no hobo

(Source: goldicrocs, via abbeyraeofsunshine)

soujizz:

omg i just realized

theyre called pancakes

 because theyre like cakes

but you cook them

wait for it

in a pAN

image

(Source: continello, via seafolly)

  • voldemort: let me be your ruler
  • death eaters: (ruler)

tom-spanks:

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

(via abbeyraeofsunshine)